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c : 19 November 2005 • 12:09AM -0500

[Culture] Latest Plamegate Bombshell: Woodward Under the Bed at St Regis Hotel
by Benseraglio2


Latest Plamegate Bombshell: Woodward Under the Bed at St. Regis Hotel
Nov 17 2005 by Ross Bender

Who do YOU think the leaking leaker is?
Bush: 21.4%
Cheney: 28.6%
Rove: 17.9%
Libby: 1.8%
That smelly guy in the elevator: 30.4%

In the latest episode of the continuing Plamegate reality TV series, ace
reporter Bob Woodward was questioned under oath this week by Super-Agent Patrick
Fitzgerald. Woodward also apologized to his part-time employer, The Washington
Post, for not informing them that he was told several years ago, by the
Leaking Leaker himself, that Valerie Plame worked for the CIA.

The neocon groupie and White House suck-up offered to chop off the first
joint of his left pinkie to atone for his journalistic boo-boo. "I really should
have told my editor sooner," he mused in the Post.

Woodward, who has publicly derided the investigation of Super-Agent Patrick
Fitzgerald and labeled him a "junkyard dog," revealed the extent of his own
involvement in the case in a dramatic page-one story in The Washington Post.

"I followed Judy and 'Scooter' to the St. Regis Hotel. Judy was putting away
the margaritas like there was no tomorrow.

"Afterward they took the elevator up to one of the luxury suites. I slipped
the bellboy a Benjamin to let me into the room. They didn't even notice me as I
scooted under the bed. They had the Ramones on the stereo at full blast and
Scooter was ripping her stockings.

"Weird thing was, when I made it under the bed, there was already a whole mob
there. I couldn't make out their identities in the dark, but it definitely
wasn't Karl Rove or Colin Powell. Mighta been Cheney, but hell, it was so damn
dark and crowded that I just couldn't swear to who it actually was. But whoever
it was put their lips to my ear and whispered, 'Valerie Plame works for the
CIA.' I jotted it down in my notebook, but resolved to keep it secret. Didn't
want anything out there that was gonna get me subpoenaed."

The White House has released a statement denying that Woodward's source was
President Bush, Andy Card, Dan Bartlett, Colin Powell, George Tenet, or John
McLaughlin, but hinting that "it mighta been Cheney." Otherwise, Scott McClellan
refused to comment, saying "the case is still under investigation."

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Ross Bender

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